PHARALLAX ROAST BRIEF // 60+ SITES // 300+ COMMENTS // 24 CHECKS // 1 SKILL // SOURCE AI AUTOMATIONS WITH JACK // PHARADOXA
Best Practices Brief · 2026.05.01

60+ AI-built sites.
300 roasts. The rulebook.

300+ comments. Same patterns. The rulebook the thread wrote, distilled into 24 checks and a Claude Code skill you can run on any URL.

60+
sites submitted, dissected, and rebuilt in public
300+
comments of feedback from working operators
24
binary checks across 3 composed frameworks
3s
the comprehension window every page is graded against
Source: AI Automations With Jack Roast prompt: Jack Roberts Compiled: Pharallax
00 Jack's Diagnostic Frame

The five questions every visitor asks in three seconds

Not a style guide. A list of failure modes every AI-built site is shipping by default. Everything in the lower tiers is downstream of these five.

E1
What is it?

Fail: poetic abstractions, "what we believe," category language. H1 over 7 words.

E2
Why should I care?

Fail: lead with who YOU are, the mechanism, or credentials. Outcome buried below the fold.

E3
Why are you credible?

Fail: "trusted by industry leaders" without logos. Generic testimonials. No founder photo on a services site.

E4
What do I get?

Fail: generic verbs and uncontextualized stats. "5x faster" without a sourced anchor.

E5
What are the next steps?

Fail: two competing hero CTAs, "Submit" as verb, verb changes between sections.

02 Tier A · First-Paint Failures

What kills you before the visitor reads anything

Bounce risk lives in the first two seconds. If the engine reveals it, the visitor doesn't get it.

A1 · Hero Text Static

Hero copy visible at first paint

No opacity: 0 initial state on the hero <h1>. No char-stagger that leaves first letters invisible.

"I landed and saw 'E CONTROL OF YOUR BUSINESS'. First impressions count, and 'E CONTROL' looks like a typo."

Akki Shenoy · on aiwithdiego.com
A2 · Initial Paint Has Content

No long black or empty above-fold

A 3-second loading screen reads as "broken" before it reads as "loading." Above-fold needs headline + value + CTA in the initial paint.

A3 · Background-Color Fallback

If the hero image fails, the page still looks intentional

Every background-image needs a paired background-color from the brand palette. Flat gray void with floating text is worse than an honest deep-navy hero.

A4 · Mobile Hero Video

Mobile defaults to a static poster

Lazy-load the video only if the visitor scrolls. The ad-click visitor has a 5-second budget.

03 Matt Larsen · Above-Fold Formula

The five elements every winning hero ships with

Failure modes are downstream. This is the positive checklist. The first 900px of vertical scroll, every conversion-optimized landing page has all five.

F1
Social proof

Star rating, named-client logos, or a specific user count, above or beside the headline.

F2
Headline 5-7 words

What it is, plain English, largest type on the page.

F3
Outcome sub-headline

The visitor's after-state in one sentence. "Get X without Y."

F4
VSSL or proof element

Auto-play demo, founder photo, product screenshot, or named-customer testimonial.

F5
Single primary CTA

One brand-color button. First-person verb. "Reserve my spot."

04 Tier B · Credibility & Trust

Why a great hero still won't convert

Clean first paint still has to earn the click. Five signals visitors use to decide if you're real.

B1 · Custom Domain

No *.vercel.app, *.pages.dev, or *.netlify.app as canonical URL

Buy the domain. Doubly true if you sell websites.

"You're a web design agency still on a Netlify subdomain. That's like a dentist with bad teeth."

Akki Shenoy · on itvisionsinc.netlify.app
B2 · Logo Present

A wordmark or symbol in the nav. Favicon doesn't count.

Service businesses without a visible mark read as "still figuring it out."

B3 · Founder Visibility

Photo, bio, LinkedIn on every personal-services site

For consultancies and freelance, people don't hire the brand. They hire you.

B4 · Real Social Proof

Named testimonials, dollar figures, real outcomes

Logos with dead href="#" links are worse than no logos. Named people with attributed results close the page.

"Your 'Selected Work' row is eight logos with eight dead links. Broken case study links are worse than no case studies."

Daniel Quintana · on trendxmedia.com
B5 · Filter Positioning

Confidence in voice. Repel the wrong fit.

A hero that tries to appeal to everyone appeals to no one. Confidence is a trust signal. So is willingness to lose half the room.

The Quote That Cut Deepest

You're a web design agency still on a Netlify subdomain. That's like a dentist with bad teeth.

Akki Shenoy · on a competitor's site (true for half the thread)
05 Tier C · Voice & Copy

The patterns that scream "AI"

Every one reads as "ChatGPT after a Hormozi binge" to a working operator.

C1 · No Em Dashes

Strip every em dash from customer-facing copy

The single most reliable AI-generation tell on the modern web. Use commas, periods, colons, or restructure.

"I'd also get rid of the em dashes throughout the site to dodge AI generated radars."

Russ Gardner · on frictionandtoil.com
C2 · Plain English

No Hormozi-flavored capital-letter slogans

"Category of One." "The Unfair Advantage of Niche Depth." Plain English describing a real outcome lands harder.

"The copy reads like ChatGPT after a Hormozi binge. You don't need to wrap the niche in capital-letter slogans."

Daniel Quintana · on trendxmedia.com
C3 · Vary Section Openers

Don't open every card with a percentage

Three stats in a row stop landing. Pick the two strongest for the homepage. Let the rest earn attention with structure variety.

C4 · Reduce Text

Users skim. Walls of body copy lose them.

Every paragraph past the third is read by 30% fewer people. The site is the hook, not the brochure.

C5 · No "X is not Y, it's Z"

Drop the false-contrast sentence pattern

Negation-then-assertion is a Claude/GPT signature. One is intentional, three is a fail. Just say Z.

C6 · Hero Names the Visitor's Win

Lead with the visitor's after-state, not the company's self-description

"We are the leading X" puts the company in the hero seat. Invert: the visitor is the hero, you are the guide.

C7 · No AI-Gradient Hero

Pink-to-blue or purple-to-cyan diagonal = template tell

Rainbow gradient + pulsing dot + glassmorphism card is the Vercel-template look. Visitors pattern-match "another AI site" before reading.

06 Tier D · Layout & UX

The mechanics every site must get right

The small details that separate "competent" from "amateur" on first impression.

D1 · One Hero CTA

One primary call-to-action above the fold

Two competing buttons split the click. Demote one to a small text link beneath the primary.

D2 · Mobile Full-Bleed

Container max-width spans the screen on mobile

Every layout starts full-bleed and only constrains at md: or lg:. Never the reverse.

D3 · Sticky CTA Discipline

Sticky bars scroll-trigger; never hide hero stats

Show after 300px of scroll. Hide when a modal opens. Never let it cover the content it's driving toward.

D4 · Cookie Banner ≠ Wall

A small bottom banner, not a full-screen blocker

A full-screen modal demanding consent before the visitor sees the page hits "back button" hard.

07 Severity Rubric

Not all failures are equal. Fix the P0s first.

One fix this week beats nine. The rubric forces the audit to terminate at one recommendation.

P0 · ship-blocker
Visitor confusion in 3 seconds

E1, E3, hero describes the company instead of the visitor. Fix today.

P1 · this week
Above-fold mechanics broken

Missing F1-F5, outcome line buried, two competing CTAs. Fix this week.

P2 · next pass
AI-tells and weak CTAs

Em dashes, X-not-Y, generic stats, stat-bombing, "Submit" verbs. Fix next iteration.

P3 · polish
Voice and slow-burn credibility

Capital slogans, adjective stacking, Hormozi voice, cheesy emphasis. Fix when surfaced.

08 What Made A Good Roast

The shape of feedback worth reading

Don Wilson's Conversion Doctor flow. The discipline forces the audit to terminate at one recommendation. Borrow this shape next time you give feedback.

01 · Validate
Name one thing working

"Strong dark editorial design, sharp three-pillar structure, premium voice."

02 · Contradiction
Name the single highest-leverage gap

"Sovereign defence is the highest-trust buying decision on the planet. Structure alone won't qualify you."

03 · Fix
Prescribe one shippable change

"Add a 4-6 logo bar with named clients above the hero. P0 against any other change."

04 · After-state
Paint what the page becomes

"Now the visitor sees who else trusts you before they read what you sell."

09 Take It With You

The whole rubric, as a Claude Code skill

All 24 checks packaged. Paste a URL. Get a scored audit with severity-ranked fixes and a drop-in community comment.

/site-rx, yours to fork
3 files. 7 customize questions. One shippable audit on any URL.

Paste the customize prompt into Claude Code, answer 7 questions, the rubric installs to ~/.claude/skills/site-rx/. Companion to /taste and /pilot from the Jack x Florian case study pack.

Download from Drive
10 The Take

Roasts are free QA. Listen.

Public feedback from working operators is cheaper than a UX audit and harder to ignore than internal QA. The signal is strong because contributors have skin in the game.

Bake the 24 checks into the pipeline. Re-roast in 30 days. Watch the same critics nod.